'Cause Mama Said So...

There are many things that becoming a parent prepares you for. There are also many things that you find yourself completely unprepared for. These fun little foibles that you discover about yourself can be amusing, annoying, and mostly very ridiculous. Yes, there is world hunger, disease, corruption, and of course, no peace in the Middle East. However, my day largely consists of worrying about whether or not my daughter has watched too much Clifford, what has happened to her beloved Bun-bun, and when we should introduce peanut butter, which is not, contrary to Mommy’s opinion, never.

The above list is not all inclusive, of course, but it is perhaps not unfamiliar to most—even if you do not have a kid, we all know TV is bad, etc…, however, there are likewise many things that I just didn’t see coming. Anyone who has ever been on vacation with me knows that I enjoy letting loose and planning to deliberately do nothing. If all I do is sit in a boat with a beer and a fishing pole, so be it. If I miss all of the “good” attractions, no big deal. For those of you preparing to travel with your kids for the first time, get ready cause if you are a last minute packer like myself you are in for a world of hurt. Please make sure you have a wife as good and responsible as mine. Mommy is always packed and prepared.

Things that I have learned while on vacation with a toddler:
1) Even when on vacation, self indulgency will only lead to an angry toddler demanding reparations in the form of watermelon and board books.
2) Bring Grandma.
3) Everything takes two hours more than the standard allotted time, even going to the pool.
4) YOU HAVE TO BUY AN EXTRA ADULT SEAT FOR MOST MEANS OF TRAVEL (there goes the college fund).
5) Activities previously considered safe for even our grandmothers, our now prohibited due to said toddler, who despite obvious physical limitations thinks she can go dog sledding and rock climbing.
6) I learned to appreciate everything through the eyes of someone brand new to the world and unaware of the world hunger, disease, corruption, and unrest in the Middle East. Now that is bliss.

Above all else, my day is complete when my little girl hears the word “dance” and begins to sway her tiny hips….even when we’re up north and it’s nothin’ but country.