Face Plant

On Mama Mondays, Mama and Lili--if they happen to be home (and it's not mid-January and painfully, mind-numbingly, cold outside)--often meet me at the bus stop as I arrive home from work, or Lili stands on her changing table, banging slobbery little hands on her upstairs window (which happens to have a bird's eye view of the corner bus stop) and waving at "distance Mommy". As I stepped off the bus yesterday, Mama and Lili were stationed on the corner in front of the house, talking to our neighbor. Initially, everything appeared right with the world, until I got closer and noticed that Lili was holding, in her left hand, a bottle of lemon juice (straight from the bottom shelf of her all-time favorite toy box, the refrigerator), and, in her right hand, a tincture of peppermint oil from the kitchen counter that we sprinkle liberally throughout the house come the arrival of the painful, mind-numbing cold in an effort to safely eradicate certain household pests. Needless to say, these are not "toys" that we normally whip out on a Monday afternoon. And then I got even closer and noticed the gigantic scrape across Lili's forehead and the crusty blood caked under her nose. And then, of course, I proceeded to COMPLETELY. LOSE. MY. SHIT. Fortunately for Mama, she was smart enough to keep a witness on hand for my arrival, knowing what my reaction would be upon seeing my little babe a) bleeding and b) missing face skin. Turns out 14-month olds are not yet equipped to sit on the front steps solo. In Mama's defense, though (and because I know she'll be mentally flailing herself for the next 18+ years), she had positioned herself directly in front of Lili on the sidewalk, and our Houdini-in-training managed to successfully find the 1-inch gap between Mama's legs and swan dive straight through it. So, like all good and guilt-ridden parents, we cleaned Lili's wounds, applied some hydrogen peroxide, and then proceeded to go shopping. And buy toys. Many, many toys. Specifically, a gigantic tube of crawling fun and a stuffed bulldog that the moms dubbed "Face Plant".






Lili also got to karate chop Mama square in the nose, which may have been the best medicine of all.